I am struggling with confidence. I thought I had a good image of myself and then life proved me wrong. I was continuously settling for less, for what was my comfort zone. Staying in the same shit, thinking this is how it is supposed to be. I was saying to myself that I just need to feel good whatever I am doing. But then it hit me. I am not actually feeling good. I am not happy where I am. I want more. Do you sometimes feel like you want more?
And then... excuses, fears.... comfort zone feels just so safe, why leave it?
Ding! New message! My friend sent me a link for Erasmus + project called Youth Guide Basic Synergy Training in Plovdiv, Bulgaria. The info brochure says intensive self-development training. Hm...It sounds interesting but what exactly is it? Soon I found out mostly nothing. Everything was a bit secretive about what exactly we will be doing there and with an explanation that not knowing and still going is the whole point of the project, knowing would only ruin the full experience. There were some scary stories about how no one would go if we knew in advance what is the program but I decided to trust my friend on the recommendation.
Next thing I know I am on the plane to Bulgaria! Feeling super excited about the new experience.
Some days later.... it is day 10 and I am going back home. I feel overwhelmed, I feel so many things... but one thing is sure, I am so deeply deeply grateful and enriched by the last 10 days that I feel like a new, better, more aware version of myself. I met so many new beautiful people and learned so many new things about myself and about life.
A few days after the training, being home and back in reality, I still feel so much... I wanna cry from happiness, from gentleness, from love, from compassion...and sometimes I cry... and it's a magical feeling.
I feel more confident, more valuable, I learned what exactly success is and that I am already successful! That I am strong and brave, that there is always someone you can inspire and that many can inspire you in different ways. I learned what is inclusion. I learned that I rarely go for my maximum and that I can always do more than I think I can if I just open myself to that possibility. From experience, I learned what it means to have an open mind, what it means to trust, what it means to succeed, and what support looks like. I had many new insights, questioned many patterns and beliefs, and got a safe environment for exploring and best support for whatever I needed it.
And all that are the lessons we all need to LEARN.
Only thing I can say more is that it was worth taking the risk of investing time and energy into a project like that. I felt that the trainers poured so much energy and love into the project. I think going for something like this is much better and more efficient than sometimes years of therapy. If you have an opportunity to experience Erasmus +, learn about other cultures and open your selves for new possibilities, DO IT. If you have the chance to go to Basic Synergy Training, go for it and thank me later :)
Now, a week later, I already have a new job I like, where I feel confident and where I stood up for myself which I would not do before. I have some goals that I wanna pursue and I feel that the quality of my relationships and life, in general, is so much better.
If you have any questions , I will be very happy to answer them:)
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